How Goes It?

28 October 2008

Since my last post described my efforts to make dinner, you might have gathered that things haven't been terribly busy in Norfolk. Honestly, I am presently between scenes, as it were; I began this month with a journey to lovely Dorset with DeArmond and I'll be starting November with a four-day trip to Dublin. Right now, all that I have to do is researching for, writing, and editing papers. Today I turned in the first of two essays I have to write for "Modern Germany, 1866-1945." As no-one in England believes that university students could possibly develop their own topic for a paper, I had to write mine in response to one out of a series of questions listed in our syllabus (which, by-the-bye, is nearly forty pages long between scheduling guidelines, suggested essay questions, seminar questions, and reading lists).

I decided on Question #5--"Was 1848 'the turning-point when German history failed to turn' (A.J.P. Taylor)?" I chose it for two reasons: (1) as I have already mentioned, I've really found my lectures of the Revolution of 1848 and the Kulturkampf to be fascinating; and (2) given the nature of the question, I got to eviscerate--er, I mean, critique--another, more prominent historian whose writing annoyed me terribly. (Is it really my fault that the man couldn't say a nice thing about the German nation? Or that he referred to such dated ideas as "national character"?) I'm not going to bore you with the details, but I do think that if this had been a boxing match with Taylor and I in opposite corners, I thrashed him. Of course, that might simply be my opinion. I might be wrong.

Next, I have to write papers for Humanities 309 (due November 7th) and for "Women & Gender in Early Modern Europe" (due November 11th). In regards to the former, I think I'm going to consider the City of London, and for the latter, I will be discussing the concepts of honor, credit, and reputation and their importance to men and women in early modern Europe. Neither should be prove as difficult or as time-consuming as the paper did for German History, mostly because I've either already researched for my chosen topic for an in-class presentation or am pursuing something that's a little less ambitious than tackling one of the more significant historians of Germany of the last fifty years. It should be fun, though.

Besides these sundry considerations, I read occasionally (though not as much as I should like) and I spend a substantial portion of my time in thought. The objects of my ruminations vary: American politics, religion, the future trajectory of Western society over the next several years, friendships (both past and present), and myself. And since I don't have anything else to do apart from my papers, obviously, I may as well share a few of my reflections with you.

American Politics
Well, we are now seven days away from Election Day--and I have to admit that I'll soon be lower the curtain on the whole spectacle (that is, until January 22nd when the media will begin to speculate about the 2010 midterm elections). Having spent most of this election cycle on a university campus, I can appreciate firsthand the excitement which this race--and Senator Obama's candidacy, in particular--has generated among the young people of America. Sadly, I don't feel as if I can share in it. That's right. The boy who feigned illness to escape the teasing of his Democratic third-grade classmates after the 1996 election has grown into a young man who's pretty well sick and tired with the entire political process.

Honestly, neither candidate, on their face, has impressed me. Senator McCain has been one of the most influential members of the upper house for almost thirty years, renowned for his willingness to cross the aisle in order to enact needed reforms--but the man chose for his running-mate Sarah Palin, a woman whose selection was intended to pander to the Religious Right and consequently has aggravated the already profound fissures in American society. Senator Obama has displayed an extraordinary gift for oratory which has helped to reach across the partisan landscape in a fashion which probably hasn't been seen since a certain Californian occupied the White House. However, if you listen to his followers for a half-hour, you'd almost believe that he was faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive--and all with one of a relatively thin political resume. Pardon me if my time across the pond has caused my grip on reality to fray, but in the face of the most severe economic crisis in at least forty years, an ongoing war against an elusive and insidious enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan, and increasing pressures on American power from authoritarian regimes in Tehran, Moscow, and Beijing, are these really our only choices?

If I ever get my absentee ballot, I plan on voting for Senator Obama, but that's primarily a function of three factors: (1) the leftward trend that I've been undergoing, more or less, since my senior year in high school; (2) my sense that an Obama administration has greater potential to be successful than a McCain one; and (3) the brutal fact that most of my friends will be voting Democratic this fall. I'm not going to lie. But if McCain orchestrates some sort of miracle, I won't be heartbroken, either. I am certainly not going to embrace the expatriate's life. (Now if he dies and Sarah Palin becomes President, that's another case entirely.)

Religion
I know that unlike Great Britain or Europe, religion remains a "touchy" topic of discussion in the States, so I'll keep this brief. If I had to measure my faith when I first arrived in England over two months ago, I'd say that it was wearing mighty thin. I was looking forward to a year without navigating the uniquely vicious politics which characterise faith-based organizations, without the hypocrisy that Christians seem to display more than they do the love of Christ, without church-going, prayer, scripture readings, sermons, or any of those practices. And I'll be honest: I'm nowhere near the point where I'd seriously countenance marching down to the UEA Chaplaincy or boarding the #25 bus on Sunday mornings in search of religion.

However, since we've arrived in Norwich, I can't help but remember things that I used to hear on Sundays even if I appeared to be sleeping. I continue to love the old hymns and songs of the faith. And on occasion, people still will approach me when they have a question concerning some element of the faith, questions that I still can answer and that afterwards I am glad were asked because they gave me a kernel to chew over for a while. How did the old chestnut go?

"For I stand convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).

Friendships (Past and Present)
I'm not going to trouble you with the details on this one, either. However, what I will say is that after careful reflection, I now apprehend a few realities about "the family I have chosen," as I like to call my friends to my parents. First, I am a person with many connections, several casual acquaintances, and few close friends. Second, many of the people I used to think were my friends aren't. I might still care for them or their welfare, but I don't really like them or relish their company like I do my truly close friends. Third, your friends often include people with whom you might seem to have but the slightest sliver in common. There are people on this program with whom I might have exchanged five words over the previous two years at Dickinson, people whom I'd now call "friend." And finally, since I'm tiring of playing King Solomon, let me close with the declaration that all of the preceding are perfectly all right. You really don't have to have thousands of friends, or stay close with them for decades, or have to share everything in common with your friends to be happy. As Henry Drummond tells Matthew Harrison Brady in Inherit the Wind: "It's the nature of the life-process."

Myself
If I had to compose a list of adjectives describing who I am three months ago, it'd have probably included such terms as "loyal," "self-conscious," "thick-skinned," "lazy," and "intelligent." But as I've had an opportunity to consider my reflection in the mirror, the contents of that hypothetical list have begun to change. I'm not thick-skinned. I'm actually pretty sensitive; I just seem to be able to get up a little more often that some. I'm not exactly lazy, either. I might not crucify myself in order to complete an assignment, but I get it done as best as I possibly can. And I'm not even going to touch the whole "self-consciousness" issue. But if I had to encapsulate myself in four or five words, provisionally I'd have to say that I am intelligent, loyal to friends and family, probably too generous at times, an incurable optimist, impulsive, and I can be one of the harshest people you could ever know.

In any event, this is how I've spending my time in lovely Norwich. Researching. Writing. Editing. Thinking. Hopefully, I'll have a little bit more to report next time--I should. I only have six or seven more days till I go to Dublin with Zack, Meghan, and Lauren. I can't wait! Ireland, here I come!